My name is Adeline Heng,
I’m a wife, mother and former employee turned leader, entrepreneur and speaker.
I’ve lifted the social veil, stopped asking the wrong questions and started to love myself unconditionally.
I’m a child of the late 1960’s and that puts me in my 50s.
I’m happily married and mother to 2 wonderful children, both in their 20s.
I grew up like many people being told to study hard so I could get a good job that gave me a good salary.
I did that diligently and dutifully. I didn’t question anything or anyone.
I used to believe that I shouldn’t be too greedy as my life was perfect by any human standard.
I am happily married to a man who brought home a steady income. I have 2 beautiful children.
I worked so I have my own money to spend. I didn’t need to support my family.
What more could I ask for?
I was afraid that this pretty scene would be taken away if I hadn’t been contented.
So I put on a social mask that all was good for me. I was on auto-pilot mode and lived in a daze.
It was the same routine, over and over, day after day.
As a child, I was told that “children are meant to be seen, not heard”.
I became a master at playing small. The older I got, the smaller I felt.
I fell into the old and widely accepted paradigm of an arch.
After age 40, I knew I was sliding down a very slippery slope, into oblivion…
The image I had in mind then of a 60-year-old was an image of my great grandmother, in her traditional black pants and blue top. Most unforgettable, is the clip she used to “bun” whatever hair she had left on her head.
With that image, who wants to be anywhere near 60? Time was passing too quickly as well …
It was then that I met a group of energetic people, and a few are above 50 years old.
They showed me that there was nothing scary about growing older. They maintained an active life.
That was my first experience that showed me truly that age is just a number. Through them I understood why.
They also showed me that it’s a myth when people say they “need very little to live”.
It’s an excuse to keep themselves in their comfort zone.
The Ego’s job was to keep us safe! So fear became really big.
For me, I’d totally forgotten about myself and I was living for my children and family.
Come on, let’s be honest! After working your butt off for more than 40 years, are you ready to downgrade your standard of living?
Instead of dining at the usual restaurants (not even fine-dining ones), are you prepared to be spending your day in the neighbourhood coffee-shops? And daily conversations include complaining about what the government is doing.
That opened my eyes to reality! Who was I kidding with my socially acceptable answer to that question? I did that so I could stay small and be unnoticed.
My Third Act
And that’s a term I lovingly use to refer to this stage of my life, after 50.
After the ups and downs of the first two acts (adolescence and middle age), I’m ready to move on!
It didn’t come easy, trust me.
As I awakened from my stupor, I realised that I had not learnt the lessons that God wanted to teach me.
That was the reason unpleasant circumstances kept recurring. How could I have been so blind?
I’d spent years running away from one job to another.
I was infuriated when someone suggested that I could be the one with the problem since I had been the only constant factor in all those situations.
On hindsight, everything is so clear now.
I was so deep in the victim mode that I couldn’t see clearly.
I’d allowed the lies and excuses to take over. I didn’t take responsibility for any of my mistakes.
I was on auto-pilot and hiding behind that socially acceptable mask. I worked so hard to stay “comfortable”. I was numbed.
No wonder I was always angry. I was standing in my own way all that time!
I’m glad my eyes were opened and I began to live more consciously. No more playing small.
So I released my past. They’re reference points and lessons for the future. They don’t determine my future!
All I’m left to do now is to tie up any unfinished business there is.
And I’m ready to create my future.
Accordingly, the first leg of journey is covered in my book, Doing Good and Doing Well, The Keys to a Happy and Healthy Life.
You can find out more here.
Following the launch of my book, I created a program to help women who are sick and tired of yoyo results to get their ideal body. It’s called the Secrets to a LEAN You. The same steps that I’d used to reshape myself. If you want to know how this can help, simply schedule a call here.
Now I’ve stepped into another phase of my self-discovery,
I call it My Third Act. It thrives in service from the heart.
In my life review, I recognised the patterns. I’d to forgive myself for my eyes were not opened. I’ll take responsibility to make amends.
The Dalai Lama said: “Love is the absence of judgement.” This is a great reference point and I’ll start here. It won’t be easy and I’ll persevere.
To ensure that I serve better, I became a certified MAP (Manifesting All Possibilities) Practitioner in 2017. You can find out more about here.
I want to start a movement for women over 45 to thrive. It’s an environment where everyone is aligned with God and their hearts’ desires. It’s a place where everyone is joyful and contributing to the good of all.
It’s something that I’ve got to do so I can show my daughter and the future generation of daughters how to live a life that is meaningful, purposeful and truthful.
As I do so, I see myself enjoying a healthy and active life, surrounded by my loved ones in environments that inspire and energise us. We’ll be enjoying activities that bring us lots of joy and laughter. Together we’ll bring love, peace and abundance to those around us.
Click here to see how we can be a team.